Hardwired For Ecstasy Read online

  She didn’t know what to say. He’d stunned her with his compliments. No man had ever spoken to her the way Atticus did, or made her feel as worthy as he did.

  “I know I can trust you because I’ve seen your true character under adverse circumstances, and under favorable ones. You haven’t lied to me, and your comment earlier about my snooping into Alicia’s medical records not being right, no matter what my reasons were, proves to me that you’re a person who can be trusted to do the right thing, even when it’s hard to do.”

  “Don’t put me on a pedestal just yet. I have my flaws. We all do.”

  “You’re right. We do. But I’m trying to explain why I trust you. Emma, it’s so damn refreshing to feel this way again. I’ve had a tough time of it with everyone I’ve dated since Alicia.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head. “No, you don’t need to apologize. Look, I know you were hurt badly. I know you’re gun shy. I am, too, but I don’t want to be any longer. I want to keep seeing you. I want to make love to you. I want to help you feel good about yourself, and I want to show you that not all men are like Leland. Not all men lie and cheat. Not all men use women for their own gains.”

  He released her hands, rose, and then walked around to her side of the table and slid onto the bench next to her. Emma’s pulse raced. She gazed into those dark eyes, wanting to throw caution to the wind and give this man anything he wanted. She was so ready to trust someone again, and she was desperate to feel his body next to hers. She wanted to find out if he kissed as good as she had imagined.

  Atticus took her hands once more. “Will you give me that chance, Emma? Will you give us a chance? Will you stay here with me tonight, and make love to me?”

  Oh God… She swallowed hard, and took the leap of faith. “Yes. Yes, I will. I want that so badly. I want to make love to you, Atticus.”

  Chapter Nine

  Atticus was afraid for a second that he’d hallucinated her answer, but the look of awe and lust in her beautiful dark eyes told him he hadn’t. The hell with the rest of dinner. He wanted her. Now.

  He cupped her face and kissed her, not minding the taste of steak and lobster, since he was certain he tasted the same. She made a surprised noise in the back of her throat, and at first he thought she was going to pull away, but then he teased her lips with his tongue and she moaned softly while parting them.

  Slowly, her arms came up and circled his waist, and then she shifted her weight to face him. He released her face but not her mouth, then pulled her closer and held her tightly as he worked his tongue inside her mouth. Her moans became louder, and his cock was rock hard now. If he hadn’t been certain that Carol and Jonas lingered just outside the room, waiting to clear the dishes and bring out dessert, he’d fuck her right here on this bench.

  A noise distracted him from Emma’s mouth. He broke the kiss, sighing.

  “Pardon the intrusion,” said Carol, Jonas’s wife. “Did you want dessert now?”

  Atticus grinned at Emma, whose face had gone at least three shades of red. “Maybe later.”

  “Very well.”

  Carol and Jonas were used to walking in on him and other women in various stages of extracurricular activities, but Emma didn’t know that. He leaned close so he could whisper in her ear. “Are you finished eating?”

  “Yes, if you are.”

  “I am. Let’s go.”

  He rose and took her hand, but her attention was on the remnants of their dinner.

  “They’ll clean it up. Don’t worry.”

  “I’m not used to this.”

  He leaned close again, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. “Get used to it.”

  Atticus led her down to the second floor of his apartment and into one of the spare bedroom suites across the hall from his. He opened the bathroom door. “It’s well stocked. You should find anything you need, including new toothbrushes. Use anything you’d like. I’ll wait for you in the hall.”

  She looked at him as if she hadn’t understood a word he’d said, so he pulled her into his arms again. “Have you changed your mind already? Please don’t say ‘yes’.”

  “No, of course not. I’m just overwhelmed.”

  “I didn’t see you bring anything but that tiny bag, and I assumed you might want to brush your teeth or fix your hair or something first.” He sounded like an idiot.

  “Oh, yes. Okay. Sure. Yes, that would be great. Thanks for thinking of it. I’m sorry. I sound like a fool who’s never had sex before. This place is so … it’s overwhelming. You’re overwhelming.”

  “You’ve used that word three times now, so I hope you mean it in a good way.”

  “Yes. Absolutely.”

  He smiled, relieved that he hadn’t pushed her away already. He was so used to a different kind of woman, and would have to remember he wasn’t with them now. This was Emma, and all she knew was whatever Leland had showed her. Atticus vowed to erase those memories and replace them with new ones. Better ones, if he had anything to say about it.

  “Take as much time as you need to feel comfortable. There are even brand new robes in the closet if you want to put one on.”

  “You think of everything.”

  Uh-oh. He didn’t like that tone of voice. Time to fix this and quickly. “I would offer anyone who came here the same courtesies. I like people to be comfortable and have everything they need to feel like they live here. This isn’t a hotel suite. It’s a home, and I want you to feel that at ease here.”

  Finally, she smiled. “That’s nice. Okay. I like that description, and now this all makes sense. Thank you. I’ll be out in a few moments.”

  “We have all night.” He kissed her gently on the lips. “I’ll wait for you.”

  Her eyes went all soft, which made his dick harder and thus more painful, but Atticus didn’t mind. The fact that she finally looked relaxed was worth any amount of discomfort. He had wanted her from the moment she’d walked into his office on that first day. And now, finally, he would have her.

  ****

  Emma could only imagine what his own rooms looked like if this was a guest suite. The bathroom and bedroom were decorated in soft pastels, and the fixtures in the bathroom were brushed brass. He hadn’t been kidding about it being well-stocked. From expensive hair and skin care products to a complete nail care kit, she could leave everything behind in her own bathroom, move right in, and never miss a thing.

  She opened the closet in the bedroom, frowning. Not only new robes but silk pajama sets, also brand-new, hung there. The sizes were varied, and she couldn’t help notice none of them were single digit. That made her smile. Atticus didn’t like skinny women. He wouldn’t be with you if he did.

  She shook her head. She needed to stop that shit right now. It was bad enough that Leland’s name kept popping into her head. The last thing she wanted to do was get down on her weight. All her fantasies about this man were about to come true, and she wanted to enjoy them without anything from her past mucking up her thoughts.

  She removed her clothes and shoes, then took a deep breath and removed the underwear, too. She placed everything, including her bag, on the bed, then put on one of the robes. It fit well, and the silk felt decadent against her bare skin. Placing her hand on the doorknob that led to the hall, she steeled herself.

  This is it! She was about to get what she wanted. A whole new adventure, only this time the man wasn’t married. There would be no whispered rumors or nagging doubts. They were in his home, she’d seen all of it, and he had no wife or girlfriend hidden away. He trusted her, and he hadn’t reached that place easily. That alone was enough to make her heart melt.

  It was time to let a man into her life again. It was time to allow some happiness for herself. And there was no other man she wanted to take this chance with besides Atticus. He was perfect.

  Emma stepped out into the hall, and the slow, delighted grin that spread across Atticus’s face was enough to help her shed the last of her inhibitions. She’
d chosen the correct path. He advanced toward her slowly, like an animal stalking its prey. Shivers ran down her spine at the look of pure lust in his eyes.

  “Turn around. Let’s have a look.”

  She twirled slowly, and he let out a low whistle. “I might just leave that on you, Emma. You look so damn sexy in it.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “You really don’t see what I do when you look in the mirror, do you? How is that possible?”

  She didn’t know what to say, so she simply stood there, waiting.

  He held out his hand. “Come on. We’re going to get past this hurdle once and for all.”

  She followed him, her heart racing. What was he going to make her do?

  His bedroom was all dark wood, heavy fabrics, and massive furniture. She almost laughed. It was so … perfect. It smelled like him, and there was even soft music playing in the background. The ultimate seduction palace. She couldn’t stop her grin.

  “Is this the moment where I swoon and beg you to ‘take me’?”

  He laughed. “Well, if you want to, that’s fine, but I’m still going to make you wait.” He winked, then tugged at her arm slightly. “Come over here. We’re going to conduct an experiment.”

  Atticus led her to a full length mirror, then told her to stay there. He pushed an armchair over and placed it in front of the mirror, almost touching it. Then he sat in it and crooked his finger at her.

  “On my lap, Emma. Face the mirror.”

  What did he have in mind? She gave him a wary glance but did as he asked, enjoying the tingles in her body as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

  “Here are the rules.” He nuzzled her neck. “Do not close your eyes. Okay?”

  “I’ll try.”

  “There is no try.” He reached under the robe and caressed her left nipple. She gasped as delicious shivers raced down her spine. “Do not close your eyes or I stop everything and go to sleep. Without you in the same bed.”

  She gazed into his eyes, spellbound by the intensity of emotion in them. He meant it. She knew that without a doubt.

  “Okay. Agreed. I’ll keep my eyes open.”

  “Good girl.” He removed his hand and stroked her hair. “Rule number two. You will do everything I ask you to do, for at least thirty seconds, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Do you agree?”

  “What if it’s something that frightens me?”

  “I’m not going to ask you to do anything that will cause you mental or physical pain, Emma. That’s not what this is about. But if we need to talk about something I ask of you, we will. How’s that?”

  “Okay. Thank you. In that case, I agree.”

  “Good girl.” He grinned, and her pussy grew wet. “Ready?”

  “Yes.”

  “Open the robe but don’t take it off. Just let it fall open so we both can see your pretty tits and your pussy.”

  Shit. She knew exactly what he intended to make her do, and she wasn’t sure she could with him watching, but that was precisely the point, wasn’t it? He was trying to help with her lousy self-image issues. That he would care enough to take the time to do this touched her heart.

  She opened her robe, working hard not to close her eyes.

  “Oh my,” he said, his voice reverent, like he was gazing at a perfect piece of artwork. “I knew you’d be luscious, but I had no idea you were this exquisite.”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to protest, and it took every ounce of willpower not to say a word.

  “You don’t look at your naked body very often, so you?”

  She shook her head.

  “I know. I can see it on your face.”

  Emma swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  He frowned. “No. You have nothing to apologize for. That’s rule number three. No apologies. Okay?”

  She nodded.

  “Emma… Okay. I want to see you touch your skin. Your face, your arms, your belly, and then your legs. Innocuous places you touch every day when you shower or bathe, right? Do it slowly, and let me see you enjoy it.”

  Well, that was harmless. She could do that.

  She moved too fast at first, and he slowed her down by placing his hand over hers and guiding it. “Relax your muscles. Let me show you what I mean.”

  Once she understood, she did as he asked, but then had difficulty hanging on when he spread her legs and placed his hand over her pussy. “Keep going. Don’t stop. Look at me, not at my hand.”

  Sure. That was so easy right now. Emma traced a line with two fingers over her neck, between her breasts, then down each arm and over her abdomen. She reached as far down her thighs as possible, and then he told her to bend her legs and draw them up.

  She did, after hesitating only a second or two, and then he moved his hand off her pussy, and placed his arms under hers. He slipped his hands under her thighs so her pussy was open and exposed. “Now you can reach the rest of your legs. Go on.”

  She continued, teasing her feet as well, trying to keep her gaze on his face, but it kept drifting to her swollen clit and wet slit. He noticed it, of course, and grinned.

  “Look how wet you are, Emma.”

  “I can’t help it.”

  “I like it. A lot. Move your fingers down there. Rub your clit for me, Emma.”

  She bit her lip. She’d never masturbated in front of anyone. Hell, when she did it at home she had to have the lights off.

  “Had a feeling that would throw you.” He released her legs and rolled her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. She let out a long sigh as tiny jolts of electricity raced straight to her clit. “Do you like this?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then do as I say or I’ll stop.”

  Emma loved him a little for that. He knew exactly what he was doing, but there was no malice or self-serving going on here. This was all for her. And she didn’t want to disappoint him. More importantly, she wanted this. It was time to live the way she’d always dreamed of, and Atticus could help her do that.

  Chapter Ten

  Emma bent her legs again, but without support, she had trouble keeping them up at this angle. Once he realized that, he moved his arms and repositioned her on his lap so she could open her legs wide and rest a calf on each arm of the chair.

  “That’s better. Now place your hands down there first.”

  She did, and then he wrapped his arms around hers, and returned to teasing her nipples. At first, she merely rubbed her palm over the entire groin, but he gave her a droll look so she used two fingers to touch her pussy lips and clit.

  “Come on, Emma. Show me what you do when you give yourself an orgasm, and don’t try to tell me you never do.”

  “I do, but I’ve never watched myself do it.”

  “You’re going to watch now. Thirty seconds, remember? You agreed to give me at least thirty seconds.”

  She’d come this far. Emma rubbed her clit the way she usually did, and realized this would be easier than she thought because she was so aroused already. Every time her gaze drifted to his face, he whispered for her to watch her hand and her pussy, not him. That was seriously sexy, but she still had to concentrate on not closing her eyes.

  “Baby, look how fucking wet you are.”

  That voice! It was so damn seductive! She wasn’t just wet. She was soaked. Her juices tricked down toward her asshole as she moaned out loud and rubbed harder.

  “That’s it, Emma. Good girl. You’re close. I can feel it.” He grasped her breasts again, kneading them in very strong hands, and she moaned louder. It was still a struggle to keep her eyes open, but she was close enough now that she didn’t want to stop.

  When she was right there, poised on the edge, she lifted her gaze to his face. He smiled, total delight shining in his dark eyes, and that was all it took. Emma cried out and gave over to the climax. He groaned softly, nuzzled her neck, then placed his hands over her fingers and moved with her, intensifying the c
ontractions.

  Once they finished, he gently moved her off his lap, then told her to sit. She did, still breathing heavily and a bit dizzy from such a strong orgasm. He moved the chair away from the mirror just far enough that he could kneel in front of her.

  “Spread them again, gorgeous.”

  She did, then gasped as he dived between her legs and licked her pussy. “Oh my God!”

  He didn’t answer, and this time she had to close her eyes as she threw back her head and let the sensations overtake her. Leland had never done this to her. Not once. She’d always wondered what it felt like and now she knew. It was fucking amazing.

  Atticus helped her stand. Then he pulled her into his arms and held her. “I was hoping to make you come again, but I’ll do that once I’m inside you instead.”

  “Oh. Oh, please don’t worry about that. That was…” Should she tell him? Yes. “That was the first time. I mean for that. A mouth down there.”

  His look was skeptical. “You’re kidding.”

  She shook her head. “No. Leland always said it was nasty.”

  “Leland is a fucking idiot. Did he ask for blowjobs from you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, I see. But that was okay?”

  Heat rose to her face. “He seemed to enjoy them.”

  He cupped her face gently. “It’s all right, Emma. It’s normal that we talk about your sexual experiences, and since he was the only man you had sex with, his name is going to come up. I’m okay with it.”

  “Well I’m not. I don’t want to think about him ever again. I don’t want to think about him when I’m with you. You deserve my undivided attention, and that includes my thoughts.”

  The look he gave her nearly took her breath away. “I like hearing that. You’re here because you want to be with me.”

  “How could any woman not want to be with you, Atticus?” Had he lost his mind?

  “I mean you’re here because of me, the person inside, not because of what I can give you. Not the money or the apartment, or all the shit inside it.”